I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
