Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
