Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
