hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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