JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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