Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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