your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
