I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
