remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize