Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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