I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
