You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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