Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
