dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize