Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
