I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
