YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
