New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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