i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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