I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
