today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize