and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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