You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
