I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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