Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
