So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize