so that wasnt chicken after all
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
