He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
