Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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