You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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