I just made out with a guy for $7.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
