I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
