So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize