Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
