the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
