I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
