I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
