is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
