Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize