YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
