hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
