I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize