I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
There's even glitter on my cock...
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