Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize