I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
