a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
