I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
this will be a night to untag.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
