wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
