WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize