we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
