my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
