his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
