i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You pole danced in your parka.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
