oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
