So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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