im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
