dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
