Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
