Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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