i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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