WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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