So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Girls should come with a carfax report
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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