Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
