I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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