Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
