She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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