What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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