My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He has the fingertips of a God
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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