i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
